One Serving of Wormwood Blazes

Planet Nibiru is pretty much the one reason the Straights don't take us Conspiracy Nuts very seriously, these days. Every time we make a few good points--the Iraq invasions were based entirely on thick stacks of lies, Obama is a shill for the NWO, and chem-trails will mutate your DNA, for instance--some moron at the back of the room stands up and hollers, "Planet X is going to tear us a new asshole!"

I want to distance myself from that guy. He is spoiling everything. For every two converts we pull toward the light, he causes three to return to slumbering darkness. Screw him.

Here is wisdom: There is no Nibiru. Take my word for it. I know a lot of extremely secret shit, being one half of an acclaimed cartoon team, and I can assure you that no rogue planet is bearing down upon us. That's just stupid.

On this blog I am only going to talk about real stuff, like 11-dimensional ghosts and lunar hoaxes. The important shit. I'm completely qualified to dispense this info. You can trust me.